


SBAM! SBAM!, motherfucker

by Tommykaine



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Hank Anderson Swears, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), no beta we die like men, probably the most wholesome thing I've ever written, the whole idea of this fic started out from me envisioning Hank and Connor on a bumper cars ride, you know the OTP is powerful when I of all people can write 5k of FLUFF about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-22 08:40:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18133097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tommykaine/pseuds/Tommykaine
Summary: Connor has never been at a fun fair. Hank decides to remedy to that immediately.





	SBAM! SBAM!, motherfucker

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Fifth Week of LandeDiFandom's COW-T challenge (9th edition), for Mission 1, using the prompt "Scontro" (Crash / Clash).
> 
> Basically I was like "well Bumper Cars technically count since they clash together", then had a sudden mental image of Hank bringing Connor to a Bumper Cars ride, and well, this is what came out of that

_This is such a dumb idea._

Hank wasn't entirely sure of how he ended up there, squeezed next to Connor inside a small reproduction of a vehicle of the early twenty-first century.

In fact, the whole thing was decorated with assorted 'nostalgic' imagery, a lot of which was inaccurate or looking more like it belonged in the late twentieth century if anything.

He _remembered_ the twenty-first century. That was most definitely _not_ how it had looked like, and under normal circumstances he would not hesitate to point that out and expand in depth on just _how much_ was wrong with it and _what_ exactly they'd gotten wrong and why.

However, this time he could not bring himself to do it. Not when Connor was there with him, looking so eager about the whole thing.

_Fuck. We're really doing this, huh._

  
  


Thinking back to it, maybe it all started when he went to take Sumo for a walk, and Connor decided to tag along as usual.

They'd been living together for a while by then, after all the android didn't really have anywhere else to go. Sure, technically he had enough currency to start his own life somewhere, but Hank didn't feel right about leaving him to fend for himself.

While all androids technically had the same rights as humans, that didn't mean there wasn't any animosity left or that there weren't plenty of people ready to take advantage of the situation. As much as he had tried to tell himself that Connor was in fact a capable investigator who was more than able to defend himself and surely not what one would call gullible, he still hadn't been able to shake off his worries.

As for Connor, he'd seemed happy enough to move in with him, claiming it would be a perfect opportunity to learn more about him and about humans in general.

It hadn't always been easy. Hank had gotten used to his life as a bachelor, and sometimes he just needed his space and any sort of interaction became too much, but thankfully Connor seemed to understand that and learned to let him be whenever he'd get into that sort of mood. The android had plenty of things to keep himself busy with even without Hank, from learning more about human history and customs to taking care of the house.

Hank had felt a bit uneasy about it at first, but he had to admit it was nice to have someone there to help him take care of things. As much as he prided himself on being independent, he'd never been all that good at looking after himself. Not so much in terms of cleaning up the place, albeit that also became more difficult as he aged, as much as in terms of being motivated enough to cook a decent meal for himself and not eat fast food or ready-made meals everyday. Plus Connor definitely knew more than him about modern technology, so he always ended up relying on him whenever he had to change settings to his appliances or whenever something malfunctioned.

Then there was the issue of his alcohol addiction, which was something he'd been really defensive about. He rarely appreciated Connor's nagging about it, nor his concern about the state of his liver or of his mental health. Many times he'd fought with him and all but thrown him out of the house, only to immediately regret it afterwards, and somehow Connor had never gotten angry with him. The android seemed to be as insistent as he was patient, and once he figured out that informing him of how unhealthy his habit was or how little control he had over it had no effect, he'd started to distract him from his urge to get back to the bottle instead. Although sometimes he still couldn't help but remind him that he was slowly destroying himself like that.

In fact, what had prompted the current situation was in part such an occurrence.

He had a fight with Connor just the previous day, and then he'd been both too ashamed and stubborn to apologize, even if he really did feel bad about how he acted and what he told him.

He'd been irritated because he felt as if the other was looking down on him, judging him from the height of his pedestal, and he'd snapped at him telling him that he couldn't possibly understand, that it was easy for him when he wasn't even able to drink and thus would never know what it was like to feel like that was the only thing that kept him moving forward, and all sorts of awful things that boiled down to disregarding his feelings since he was "nothing more than a machine".

He hadn't _meant_ to say any of those things but he _did_ , and he felt awful for it. The truth was, in a way he envied Connor. Maybe if he'd been an android too then there would be some sort of circuit that could have been deactivated, allowing him to ignore the little voice that whispered that he would feel _so_ much better if he was drunk, that all of his stress would surely disappear together with the content of his bottle if he just had one more sip.

In the end he hadn't even been able to finish his drink and had poured the whole bottle in the sink, then he'd closed himself in his bedroom and cried like he hadn't been able to in years.

Then the next morning, _that_ morning, Connor had knocked at his door and asked if he was going to come down for breakfast, while the delicious scent of eggs and bacon and freshly brewed coffee was already filling the house.

As they had breakfast - or rather, he did, while Connor put everything that he wasn't using in the dishwasher and then sat down to keep him company - the android explained to him that such a meal wasn't normally the best choice given his cholesterol levels but that there was anecdotal data and some moderate scientific evidence to support its use as a relief against hangovers.

"I'm not hungover", he had muttered, more annoyed at himself than at the other's words. He'd been such an ass, and still Connor's priority was to worry about how to make him feel better. He didn't deserve that. The guilt was eating away at him, and the familiar urge that he'd somehow been able to fight off the previous night was already coming back.

It always turned out like that. He hated himself and what he did to his life, and that made him want to drink even more, and that in turn made him feel like shit for how much he was fucking up his life and his job by being a goddamn good-for-nothing alcoholic that everyone only tolerated out of a mixture of pity and reverence for his past accomplishments. And the only way he knew how to cope with all that was, big fucking surprise, to get even drunker. Funny how that worked.

"I'm going to take a walk with Sumo", he'd announced once he was done eating, watching as Connor put away the last of his dishes.

"Alright, Hank. Give me a few minutes and I'll come too".

Hank held back from telling him he'd rather be alone. It was the truth... and yet it also wasn't. It was more like he was looking for a way to escape from having to address his atrocious behaviour, and being by himself would prevent Connor from bringing up the subject, or himself from doing the same and apologizing yet again for his own shitty attitude.

Apologies meant nothing. He had to change himself. He knew that, but he was scared. Scared of being too weak. Scared that one day, even Connor would get fed up with him and walk away just like his wife did. And the worst thing was, he knew he wouldn't try to chase after him, because the other would be more than right to do so.

Really, it was a wonder he'd put with him for so long.

"I'll be waiting outside".

At least that had been the plan, but while Sumo had been eager to get out at first, he'd whined softly and insisted on waiting by the open door once he realized that Connor wasn't with them.

"Alright, alright. Guess we're waiting here then".

He'd scratched the ears of the large Saint-Bernard and smiled despite his low mood. It really hadn't taken long for Sumo to start to get attached to their new housemate.

Sometimes Hank even was worried that the large dog would accidentally injure the poor android when he got too excited and tried to jump all over Connor. Which was exactly what happened when the android finally joined them, before they all headed outside.

They didn't talk much as they walked, with Hank being both too prideful and too embarrassed to try and bring up their argument and Connor mercifully abstaining from doing the same for whatever reason. It was a bit awkward, but in that moment Hank still preferred that to the alternative.

He was deeply absorbed in his musings when suddenly Connor stopped and asked:

"What is that?"

"Hm?". Hank turned his head in the direction the android was looking at, and was surprised to see a pendulum ride in the near distance, accompanied by loud cheerful music. "Ah... must be the fun fair that Ben told me about the other day". He'd completely forgot about that, after all it wasn't the sort of thing he'd be interested in. Not since Cole had passed away, at least.

"Fun fair?". Connor had sounded confused, and Hank had looked at him as if he'd just sprouted another head.

"You don't know what that is?", he asked, unable to hide the disbelief in his voice.

"I don't", Connor candidly admitted, looking at him and then back to the brightly coloured attraction that had started swinging back and forth, a cacophony of excited screams soon filling the air and even overpowering the music. "Are those people in danger?".

"No, they're... it's an amusement ride."

"It doesn't look that 'amusing'", Connor said, sounding quite sceptical.

"Well, it's an adrenaline rush. It's supposed to be scary", Hank explained. He couldn't believe that Connor didn't know what an amusement ride was, but then again he supposed it wasn't exactly part of his programming. If it wasn't part of a detective's job then there was no need for him to know, that had probably been Cyberlife's reasoning.

Still... it just was such a basic thing that he'd never even considered that Connor might not know it. It wasn't the first time that something like that happened and every time his initial reaction was to stare at the other as if to determine if he was trying to play a prank on him.

As for his immediate next reaction...

"We're going there", he said, and from his tone it was clear that it wasn't a request.

"With Sumo?". Connor sounded extremely doubtful.

"After we've brought him back home. I refuse to let you live the rest of your life without knowing what a fun fair is."

Connor glanced back at the ride and frowned.

"I'm not sure I _want_ to know", he admitted.

"There's other sorts of rides there. I'll show you. If you don't want to get on them that's fine, but you at least have to give it a chance".

It was a matter of principle at that point.

In part it was the fact that really, the fact that an adult man would not know the thrill of being spun around in a circle until his legs felt like jelly or the satisfaction of shooting a target with an air gun until he got a prize or even the frustration of trying his luck at one of those coin-operated-machines with a mechanical claw that was supposed to grasp a plush toy was nothing short of outrageous.

In part it was also the fact that every time he realized that Connor had been created to be a means to an end and nothing more, just a thing to be used for his intended purpose and that was supposed to be all there was to him, well it really ground his gears. Fuck those people, really, fuck them and everything they stood for, he was going to show Connor that there was plenty more for him to do in life than the job he was programmed to excel in.

It was fine for him to be a good detective, but that wasn't all there was in life. And he was going to show him, whether he ended up liking it or not!

  
  


Fast forward to about forty-five minutes later, the time to finish their walk and then get Sumo back before heading towards the entrance of the fun fair, and Hank was leading an hesitant but still curious Connor towards the colourful and noisy spectacle that awaited them.

From the carousel to the ferris wheel, from the mechanical bull and the caterpillar ride and even a fairly tall drop tower, every attraction seemed to both fascinate and concern Connor, who watched closely as the crowd exited the nearest ride looking both terrified and thrilled about their experience.

"Isn't there anything a bit more... subdued?", Connor asked, and Hank couldn't help but chuckle.

"What's that? Are you scared?".

He'd seen him run after suspects by jumping from one building to the other, or by darting in the middle of a highly trafficked road, so it seemed odd that he would be intimidated by something like that.

"I've detected significantly increased heart rates, irregular heartbeats and arrhythmia in these people, Hank. Considering your age and your levels of cholesterol and blood pressure, I'm concerned about the effect that such a thing might have on your body".

That response wiped the grin off of Hank's face.

"I can handle this! I've been on this thing plenty of times".

Sure, that had been quite a few years earlier, but who did Connor take him for? He was no novice. He could do it. In fact he _would_ do it just to show that damn know-it-all how wrong he was.

"Let's go, Connor".

"I don't- I'm not sure this is wise..."

"Shut up and hurry before the line gets any longer".

Connor looked like he wanted to say something, but he eventually gave up and followed him.

_Hah. Now we'll see who can't handle this._

He glanced up at the tower as the first people in line were secured to the seats and started their descent, watching as they slowly moved up higher, and higher, and higher.

_Has... has this thing always been this tall?_

He swallowed loudly. Out of all of the rides there, maybe he shouldn't have picked _that_ one.

"We can always pick something else if you change your mind", Connor suggested, as if he'd read his mind, and Hank wasn't sure of whether he'd imagined the slight hint of amusement in his tone, a sort of implicit told-you-so.

"No chickening now, Connor. Go hard or go home, that's my motto". Hank replied proudly, although he was not sure of who he was trying to convince more between the two of them.

_It can't be that bad. This sort of thing always looks scarier from the outside, but it's gonna be fine. Let's see how smug wonderboy here will be after we get off!_

It wasn't until they were both finally seated on the ride and the operator had tightened the straps and checked that the safety system was locked in place that Hank realized he'd made a huge mistake.

He tried to hold it in as they slowly started lifting from the ground, but his face had lost all colour and he was staring down with growing horror.

"Wow, we sure are high!"

_Fuck you, Connor._

Of course that bastard son of a robo-bitch wasn't scared, and in fact seemed quite happy to be there, as if he wasn't suspended in fucking mid-air with no way to get back down except getting dropped like a sack of potatoes. Good fucking Lord, had his plan backfired.

_I'm going to fucking die, that's it, this is how I'm dying and it's all gonna be my fault for being too proud to listen to a damn tin can._

"I think I can see our house from here!".

The android hadn't seemed to notice his state, too taken by the new discovery, and soon enough - _way too soon_ \- they were at the top of the tower, where the ride briefly stopped.

"Connor..."

"Yes, Hank?"

"Give me your hand".

"My... hand?"

"Shut up and give me your fucking ha _AAAAAAAAAAAH!_ "

  
  


To his credit, Connor hadn't made fun of him nor lectured him once they got down and he practically had to carry him to the nearest bench, while Hank tried really hard not to throw up his breakfast while waiting for his breath and his heartbeat to calm down.

"Would you like me to get you some water?".

"Y-yeah... thanks".

Hank had been glad for the chance to stay alone for a moment, rubbing his face with his hands as he cursed himself for being so fucking stubborn. He hated to admit it but Connor was right, that had been a bad idea.

_Well, at least he had fun._

The android barely even looked as if he'd been affected by it, except that some of his usually neatly combed hair was sticking up, but he'd enthusiastically remarked on how they'd been at zero gravity for a brief moment and how that had felt "invigorating".

It was only after their seats were unlocked that he took notice of Hank, whose hand was still squeezing Connor's in a near-crushing grip while his legs were trembling so much he couldn't even get out of the damn thing.

If Connor had made some sort of snarky remark then at least Hank would have been able to tell him to fuck off, but his concern brought back some of the man's guilt and embarrassment. He hadn't meant to make him worry like that. He should have listened to him after all.

_I'll make it up for him. We'll find something fun to do that won't make me feel like I'm on the verge of death._

As he was thinking that, he was surprised to see the android come back with not only a small bottle of water but also a wad of cotton candy.

"That's nothing but pure sugar, you know", he remarked with a raised eyebrow and a small grin. "Whatever happened to banning excess sugar from the house?".

Connor responded with a grin of his own.

"Technically we're _not_ in our house now".

_Smartass._

"Thanks. I needed it".

He got up and drank a bit first, before taking the cotton candy and tearing a small piece of it.

"Do you-". He interrupted himself before he could finish his sentence, but his hand had already moved in the android's direction. "Sorry. Heh, I forgot."

It felt kind of weird to be eating that on his own. He'd have wanted Connor to try it, but it wasn't like the android had a sense of taste anyway. At most he could have examined the composition of it down to every neat little detail. Well, at least he seemed happy enough to watch him eat it.

"I haven't had cotton candy in a while", he said, eating some more of it as they walked and watched the people on the rides or at the various stands. "It's nice".

The last time had been-

He frowned.

_Yeah. He liked the blue kind. I told him a hundred times it was just colouring, but he didn't care. He always insisted it tasted better._

He almost jumped when he felt Connor's hand wrap around his free one.

"Connor...". He didn't even know what to say, not where to begin from at least. For starters he doubted that the android was aware of how that would look to other people. But the only thing he could mutter was "Don't. It's all sticky", before looking away to hide the fact that his face was turning red.

"I can wash it later. There's a bathroom nearby", was Connor's reply. "This seemed to bring you comfort earlier", he then candidly said as he nodded towards their clasped hands, making the blush on Hank's face spread even further. "Although, now your heart rate is rising again... maybe I should-"

"Oh shut up, will ya".

Connor's hand felt nice. It was surprisingly warm. Well of course it was, all machines got warm as they operated, but what he meant was that it felt skin-like warm.

He remembered holding Cole's hand like that, and the hand of his wife before then. It felt like it had been ages. Like it almost happened in another life.

"Hank, are you... crying?"

"I just- I got something in my eye that's all. Let's go to the bathroom so I can get it out".

  
  


It was shortly after that, once they'd both washed their hands and Hank had washed his face and pretended to clean something out of his eyes, that he was suddenly invested with a blast from the past.

Someone was playing NSYNC, and he couldn't help but stop dead in his tracks. Who the hell even listened to _NSYNC_ in that day and age!?

His curiosity got the best of him, so he followed the mysterious sound until they arrived in front of a Bumper Cars ride, decorated in the most phony pseudo-2000 fashion and blasting out a cacophony of assorted hits of that time.

"What the hell...?".

He stared at that monstrosity for several minutes, as if unable to fully comprehend or believe what his eyes were seeing, and Connor seemed to mistake this for interest because he walked to the ticket vendor and got one for both before he could stop it.

_Oh well. It's certainly something I can handle. In fact I remember being pretty good at this. I'm sure he'll like it too._

  
  


So yeah, _that_ was how he ended up there.

It was a bit odd to be sitting next to another fully grown man, normally the double seat was for a parent and child to ride together, but he figured he should show Connor how the whole thing worked before letting him go solo.

"It's easy enough, pretty much like a normal car but even simpler".

"Where are the brakes? Or the gas pedal?".

"There's no need to, it will start on its own when all the cars are full".

"Alright! And what then?".

Hank grinned.

"Oh, you'll see..."

  
  


_SBAM!_

The first impact caught Connor off-guard. The ride had not been in motion when they first approached it and there hadn't been anyone in line for the tickets causing them to wait enough for it to start, so he had no way to know what to expect.

"Hank, what are you-"

_SBAM!_

"Hank! Be more careful!".

Hank chuckled and turned the wheel all the way to the side, preparing to approach the furthest car once they started to speed up again after the impact.

"This ride is called Bumper Cars, 'cause you bump into other people's cars. It's the whole point!"

_SBAM!_

"I see!".

Connor still looked a bit concerned, but once he saw that everyone was doing the same and no one seemed distressed he finally started to relax and looked back at Hank, studying his actions closely so that he could get the hang of it.

_SBAM!_

"Now you try it", Hank said, letting him take control of the wheel. "Try looking for a good targ-"

_SBAM!_

"Ah!". Hank turned to the side and a tall, buff guy flashed him a sneering grin.

"Move over, gramps!", the dude yelled in a mocking tone, and the busty blonde next to him giggled loudly.

Hank grinned back, eyes narrowing in a determined expression as the buff guy's car turned around and darted away to the other side of the enclosure.

"Come on, Connor!", he barked out, barely holding back from the temptation to grasp the wheel again. "Let's go get that fucker!"

Connor also seemed to be getting fired up by that point.

"Yes, Hank!".

  
  


By the time their round was over, Hank couldn't help but let out a loud, disappointed "fuck!".

"That was surprisingly intense. Are you ok?", Connor asked. He sounded concerned, but he also sounded rather excited, or at least as far as his capacity to express excitement went.

"Ok? I'm having the time of my life!", Hank replied, hurrying out of the car and grasping on Connor's hand to make sure he'd follow him. "Let's get a couple more tickets, this time we're going solo."

As they waited in line, Hank could barely hold back his own excitement.

"I'm warning you, I'm not going easy on you just because you're a beginner", he taunted him, cracking his shoulders and rubbing his hands in anticipation as he waited. He was eager to show off his skills, he'd always loved that ride and at that point he was even willing to forgive or at least ignore the tacky decorations and the awful music selection - although the Backstreet Boys currently playing in the background were _really_ pushing it.

_Good Lord. Of all the good music to pick from those years... why this?!_

"I've never heard this type of music before.", Connor remarked once Toxic by Britney Spears came up. "I think I like it!"

_Oh hell no!_

"Try putting that shit in my music archive and I'll lock you up in the cellar."

"That's illegal".

"So is being forced to listen to this crap".

"It really isn't".

"Well it _should_ be".

Hank was thankfully distracted by the subject once they finally got to the end of the line and he could acquire their tickets, taking enough so that they could go a few rounds without having to get back in line.

 _I hope he won't be too upset when I school his ass,_ he thought as he took a seat in the first available car and looked around to see Connor do the same.

"Ready?", he yelled, feeling his heart race from the excitement. Even the music had switched from some insipid pop tune to a more appropriately fast-paced one, which matched his current mood a lot more.

"I'll give it my best shot!", was Connor's reply.

_Hah! Cute._

Finally the ride started once again, and Hank immediately started his attack to the tune of Everytime We Touch by Cascada.

_SBAM!_

He did make sure to run into a few other cars on his way, but his eyes were still following his true objective.

_Come on Connor, come closer... let me show you how it's done!_

Hank managed to slalom around a few other cars to avoid being hit, finally reaching the other side where he started tailing the other.

_Gotcha!_

He was just about to reach him when the song hit the chorus again, bumping his head up and down to the rhythm as he pushed him in a corner-

_SBAM!_

Connor narrowly escaped his hit, leaving to slam against the edge at full force.

"Fuck!"

"You shouldn't swear in front of children, Hank!", Connor yelled at him, glancing back with a huge grin before slipping between two other cars and making them crash against each other.

"I'll swear how much I goddamn want", Hank growled to himself, narrowing his eyes as he started his chase.

_Fuck. He's good, I'll give him that._

He once again came close, really close, but once again the damn android escaped him at the last second.

"Do you want me to go easier on you?", Connor asked in a falsely innocent tone, betrayed by the all-too-smug smile on his face.

"Don't get cocky, I'm just warming up".

Hank smiled back, but inside him a flame had been sparked.

_Don't underestimate me, boy!_

Oh it was on now, he wouldn't let him get away with that! He was a fast learner, but Hank had a lot of experience and a few tricks up his sleeve.

He had to wait the next round to put his plan into action, remaining seated on the car as he waited for it to restart.

When it finally did, he purposefully avoided Connor and concentrated on other targets, waiting for the android to come for him before taking a sharp turn that sent him slamming against the rails and aiming for the side of Connor's car.

_SBAM!_

"See ya later, tin man!" he gloated, getting away as fast as he could - except in the process he got too distracted and was bumped into by a pink-haired girl

_SBAM!_

"Damn!"

 _SBAM! -_ Connor sure enough took the occasion to do the same.

"You were saying?"

"Oh you're gonna be sorry!"

"You're right, it's not nice to bully the elderly"

"You little-"

Connor got away before he could get his revenge, so he immediately went after him and ignored everyone else on his course, with the result of getting slowed down as another car bumped into him.

_SBAM!_

"Fu- I'll get you next time!".

_Now it's fucking personal!_

  
  


They went at it for as long as their tickets allowed, and then went back to buy one more, but by the end of that Hank had to call it quits.

He was out of breath, his hair was sticking to his face from how much he'd been sweating and he was sure he was going to find an assortment of bruises on his body the next time he showered.

He was also not even all that mad about his crushing defeat, although he refused to admit that it had been one. After all he was an out-of-shape middle-aged human and the other wasn't even _capable_ of breaking a sweat, so he felt that he'd done pretty well, all things considered.

Plus, he'd been laughing his damn ass off and having the most fun he had in years. _That_ was a victory in his book.

He didn't let Connor help him out of the car or lend him his shoulder, but when he felt his hand slip into his he didn't stiffen nor fight it.

Instead he squeezed his hand back and marched forward, perfectly aware of the weird looks they were getting but he didn't care. Those idiots could think whatever they wanted for all he was concerned, he wouldn't let that hand go for anything in the world.

"You had fun?"

"It was certainly an experience", Connor replied, sounding rather pleased. "Perhaps we should do it again".

"Oh yeah". Hank chuckled at that, then frowned for a second. "Minus the whole drop tower part".

_And the NSYNC music._

"I kinda liked it. Maybe I'll come back to try the more... unsafe rides on my own".

Hank couldn't exactly complain about that, as he wasn't planning to accompany him any time soon. Maybe if he finally got his health in check, one day. But really he felt he could live perfectly well without that whole getting-dropped-down-at-an-inhuman-speed thing.

"That guy is staring at us in an odd way, Hank", Connor whispered after a while, leaning a bit closer to him.

Hank felt his heart race a bit again and gulped.

"Must be some kinda weirdo. Ignore him", he mumbled, shrugging and trying to play it cool.

"Your heart-rate is increasing again", Connor noticed. "Is anything wrong?".

_Goddammit Connor. You and your fucking questions._

"Yes there is. We still haven't tried out the shooting booth. Let's see who can get the best score".

"I'll have you know, there's a 96% probability I'm gonna win again".

"Oh yeah? Based on what?"

"Our overall shooting range performances, the impact of your decreasing eyesight and motor control on your ability to aim, and several other statistics".

Hank scoffed and shot him a defiant look.

"Well I've got a place where you can shove your statistics".

Connor blinked and looked at him.

"Oh? Where is it?".

Hank sighed.

_Right._

"...nevermind".

  
  


 

**Author's Note:**

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